Badger
“70% Furry, 30% Filthy, 100% Fun”
Sunday June 30th 2024
Badger was all excited for his trip to Wrestlemafia. He was packing all the essentials toothbrush, passport, clothes, kilt stuff food and drink. Plus the most important item of allll…condoms as Baito had reminded him to pack those especially with the kilt stuff!
Mrs Z Badger at this point was not amused and whipped him with a bar mat, tennis racket and hockey stick (bartender and athlete, one of the many reasons Badger loves and married her) decides she was going too. Dr Breyski was already a travel buddy but she decided juust to make sure her husband behaves himself and no harm comes to him.
ProblematicHoneyKBadger especially not amused being his brother, not invited plus his birthday today which poor Badger unknowingly forgot and also invited the good doctor instead of him as his travelling buddy!
Also Special K is his favourite cereal which for some reason pings Voidbadger as he considers himself an expert on cereals. Dunno why but he just does.
Anyway, Problematic gathers up a team as out for revenge:
GrumpyBistoBadger95 - Annoyed that he did not have a bigger part in this story. Aaaaagh! It’s Bistoooo!!! could be toxic gravy granules here!
Baws - So named because he has two and poor Badger due to medical reasons has one!
Rachel Badger - She has been with both brothers but had a previous separation from Problematic because he slept with a hot copy badger. They were oooon a breeeak! She then fell for our young hero/protagonist whose heart ultimately belonged to Z. Her and K are now back together and she’s out for revenge.
Sober BWE -Self-explanatory.
“Wait a minute Badger” some may say! It’s not til next year! Aaahhh but he has a way! Bazer lent him the Time Machine of Guam sometimes used for wrestling debate contests.
Normally used to travel to the past mind you but for the purposes of this story..we’re adding a button that say travel to the Future…no wait not thaaat one..actual future.
Hey it’s been a while so trying my best okay? Expect a few puns!!!
Badgingale is already groaning as is BWE who is already loading up the tomato cannon so better not do too many.
Badger1983 is also not happy that Badger says Leo is the best turtle so is prepared to help load the cannon!
Sober BWE on the other hand finds this shit hilarious and is planning to buy Badger…a cup of tea if they meet face to face on this trip while BWE drinks teaquilas!
Shit I did it again..baaaad narrator! *slaps own wrist and puts on armour (the u spelling) before being pelted with tomatoes.
It is at this point that whenever writing anything down over there…take the u out!!! Anyway I digress..pressing future button on machine which was conveniently fitted by another engineer we hired in Voidbadger because he’s good at this type of thingymabob.
*Fast forward to Saturday 12th April 2025.Indianapolis airport. A week before the big show*
Our hero and the good doctor are on the plane about to touch down. Due to forgetting about jet lag/time-zones they fall asleep and don’t see Problematic and his squad reminded him of jet lag and made sure he stayed awake for the journey.
The plan touches down with Badger carrying his AEW belt who in all the haste of packing brought that instead of his WWE title. Ooops! as he makes his awkward entrance.
Bazer is there and the first to greet him with haggis, Biva baked a cake for him. Bildey is there with Scottish bunting, balloons and bagpipes. Baito also brought bagpipes and they played a duet of “Flower of Scooootland hoping to send the bad guys hooooome tae think agaaain!
BTR and Buture…slept in. Surprise Surprise!
Psycho666Badger was playing through Final Fantasy VII Rebirth for the seventh time and lost track of time. We may or may not visit him later!!
Mrs Z Badger said brief hellos and went to her temporary bartender job at the airport bar where BWE already was hitting the El Patron.
They kinda also squint at each other:
Z: “I think you’ve had enough!”
BWE: “An…..UNLIKELY STORY!!!!”
*Narrator’s note: Saying unlikely to avoid any lawsuit of gimmick infringement*
Z: “See if I wasn’t behind this bar…I could outdrink you!”
BWE: “An…..UNLIKELY STORY!!!!”
*They squint at each other potentially foreshadowing a showdown laaaater. Maaaybe!*
Finallyyyy…unbeknownst to everyooone! BlindBadja is also travelling to this event by submarine!
Now why he chose submarine instead of a plane…who knows? Is he annoyed at all his jokes or is he looking out for our young protagonist? Who knows really??
----------------------------------------------------
BlindBadja decided why is he bothering to travel thousands and thousands miles in a sub when others are in a game..so he went home.
Howeverrrrrr
What we failed to mention is that 3cubbies, Badger’s couusin upset that he wasn’t invited. Sooo annoyed that before all this happened, he wrote Badger a passionate letter explaining being left out.
Unfortunately Badger had already left before the letter had arrived at his house. 3cubbies had travel coupons to get a discount on his own flight over there.
While flying he was deciding whether to hurt or help his cousin as he decided to sleep on it during the long flight over there.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
The Time Machine of Guam was acting as Voidbadger and Bazer were making changes. They were quite concerned.
Mrs Z Badger knocked off shift for the night at the airport bar. She and BWE decided to have a lock-in and a tequila-off on the El Patron. Last person standing wins! Who will survive?
Badger was enjoying his flight unaware still blissfully unaware of his enemies sitting at the back while he was sitting at the front when all of a sudden there was an announcement over the PA:
“Ladies and gentlemen we are experiencing major turbulents due to a low fuel supply!” We will try to make an emergency landing but we might diiiie!”
Panic was happening among the plane. Emergency crews were radioed to see if they could join in and help just in case the worst happened. They may not get there until…Tuesday!
The stewardesses all fainted but brave Badgingale decided to stand up and demonstrate the emergency procedures anyway pointing out where the nearest exits are and how to wear the oxygen masks as they come popping down.
Problematic Honey K Badger was not concerned however. In fact one might say he had something to do with this as he let out a Sideshow Bob laugh!
Meanwhile 3Cubbies was on a different flight of course which was running just fine and smoothly. He decided to watch the in-flight movie and write some more letters to send later. Almost like AIRMAIL if you will!
Travelling back in time again to Sunday 30th 2024
Bazer and Voidbadger were staring at the Time Machine of Guam after pressing the FUTURE button as it started acting up. Voidbadger was trying to fix it when a beam of light enshrouded Bazer and he vanished. Voidbadger was staring aghast when right after that, the machine exploded killing Voidbadger in the process!
Voidbadger has died in the explosion – He was going to be ???
Travelling forward in time again to Saturday 12th April 2025
The turbulents were getting worse, the plane was descending at an alarming rate by thousands of feet. Problematic, Baws, Sober BWE, GrumpyBistoBadger95 and Rachel had grabbed what they all the parachutes as their plan of tampering with the engines and fuel supply to take out her hero had worked and jumped out the plane.
Badger had to think quickly! Looking in his suitcase, he found his gigantic kilt and made a makeshift parachute as he was NOT missing this trip and jumped out too. Unfortunately he did not have time to save Dr Breyski and Badgingale as this trip was too important so had to leave them behind.
On the descent down, he saw his enemies descending down with the wind currents forcing Grumpy into his path. He had then taken out his trusty sgian dhu and thrust it into Grumpy's parachute on the way down. Grumpy screamed as he fell into the Atlantic Ocean and drowned!
GrumpyBistoBadger95 has drowned – He was going to be ???
The other evil badgers were shocked and tried to burst his kilt parachute too. However it was made of super strong tartan made from a combination of the Campbell and McDonald clans and couldn't burst it as he then descended past them thanks to the wind currents. Baws who was really MAD then shouted:
“WE'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME GADGET! NEEEXT TIME!!!
Badger: “It's BADGER YA NUMPTY!”
Anyway they all descended into the airport and at various times headed to the main airport bar. (which just happens in a separate building from the main terminal btw). The plane itself then crash-landed into the terminal!!
This killed several people upon impact. Badgingale, Dr Breyski, Bildey and Biva were unfortunately amongst the dead.
Badgingale has died – She was going to be ???
Dr Breyski has died – He was going to be ???
Bildey has died – He was going to be ???
Biva has died – He was going to be ???
BTR and Buture were roused briefly from their phones buzzing with panicked calls from Biva and Bildey just before the plane had crash-landed. Unfortunately they did not see properly who was calling and so turned their phones off and decided to just go back to sleep...forever as they love sleep!
BTR decided to go to sleep forever – He was going to be ???
Buture decided to go to sleep forever – He was going to be ???
Bazer had just appeared from a flash of light with his gifts for Badger and saw all the carnage before him. He decided he needed a drink and decided to go to the airport bar as well.
Sober BWE got to the bar first where BWE was already on the tequilas and asked Mrs Z Badger who was tending bar for cups of tea for him and BWE. The latter was so furious and smashed an empty (so as not to waste good alcohol of course) already drunken bottle of El Patron off the bar end and stabbed the broken end he was holding into the sober one's throat with blood going everywhere killing him instantly.
Mrs Z Badger was furious....she was going to have to clean that up later she told BWE!
Sober BWE was stabbed in the throat – He was going to be ???
Baito then came in and demanded a whisky. BWE got up and stared at him....and they hugged it out much to Mrs Z Badger's delight!
Badger was outside the bar as before he crash he bought duty-free cigarettes after his traumatic experience but forgot to buy a lighter. D'oh! Luckily Bazer appeared and he had a Saltire Clipper lighter as part of his gifts and gave it to Badger who smoked while Bazer entered the bar. Just before he went in, he tried to call Badger1983 what happened but he was still pissed at our hero that Leo was his favourite turtle and had left his phone off wanting no part of this shit.
Badger1983 left his phone off – He was going to be ???
Anyway Badger then entered the bar to a giant “NOOOORMM!”...I mean “BADGER!” chant including a hug and a kiss from his wife as she had forgiven him and Baito for the condoms joke. BWE in a fourth wall breaking moment just says “Oh no..not Cheers again! That game Knee ran on Rajah was bad enough!”
Then the bad guys entered..unfortunately they were horrendously outnumbered. Problematic and Baws managed to escape but unfortunately Rachel tripped on the way out! Mrs Z Badger took out her trusty hockey stick and smashed Rachel over the skull killing her instantly! She also realised the irony that she was going to have to clean up her own mess when BWE pointed this out to her.
Rachel Badger has been killed – She was going to be ???
3Cubbies of course was on another flight so he was not around for any of this shit happening.
So that's where our story is just now....oh we forgot about Psycho666Badger didn't we? Well he was still at home playing Rebirth so we'll get to him later!
RULES
Pretty much bog standard Mafia rules but here's the list anyway:
Badger was all excited for his trip to Wrestlemafia. He was packing all the essentials toothbrush, passport, clothes, kilt stuff food and drink. Plus the most important item of allll…condoms as Baito had reminded him to pack those especially with the kilt stuff!
Mrs Z Badger at this point was not amused and whipped him with a bar mat, tennis racket and hockey stick (bartender and athlete, one of the many reasons Badger loves and married her) decides she was going too. Dr Breyski was already a travel buddy but she decided juust to make sure her husband behaves himself and no harm comes to him.
ProblematicHoneyKBadger especially not amused being his brother, not invited plus his birthday today which poor Badger unknowingly forgot and also invited the good doctor instead of him as his travelling buddy!
Also Special K is his favourite cereal which for some reason pings Voidbadger as he considers himself an expert on cereals. Dunno why but he just does.
Anyway, Problematic gathers up a team as out for revenge:
GrumpyBistoBadger95 - Annoyed that he did not have a bigger part in this story. Aaaaagh! It’s Bistoooo!!! could be toxic gravy granules here!
Baws - So named because he has two and poor Badger due to medical reasons has one!
Rachel Badger - She has been with both brothers but had a previous separation from Problematic because he slept with a hot copy badger. They were oooon a breeeak! She then fell for our young hero/protagonist whose heart ultimately belonged to Z. Her and K are now back together and she’s out for revenge.
Sober BWE -Self-explanatory.
“Wait a minute Badger” some may say! It’s not til next year! Aaahhh but he has a way! Bazer lent him the Time Machine of Guam sometimes used for wrestling debate contests.
Normally used to travel to the past mind you but for the purposes of this story..we’re adding a button that say travel to the Future…no wait not thaaat one..actual future.
Hey it’s been a while so trying my best okay? Expect a few puns!!!
Badgingale is already groaning as is BWE who is already loading up the tomato cannon so better not do too many.
Badger1983 is also not happy that Badger says Leo is the best turtle so is prepared to help load the cannon!
Sober BWE on the other hand finds this shit hilarious and is planning to buy Badger…a cup of tea if they meet face to face on this trip while BWE drinks teaquilas!
Shit I did it again..baaaad narrator! *slaps own wrist and puts on armour (the u spelling) before being pelted with tomatoes.
It is at this point that whenever writing anything down over there…take the u out!!! Anyway I digress..pressing future button on machine which was conveniently fitted by another engineer we hired in Voidbadger because he’s good at this type of thingymabob.
*Fast forward to Saturday 12th April 2025.Indianapolis airport. A week before the big show*
Our hero and the good doctor are on the plane about to touch down. Due to forgetting about jet lag/time-zones they fall asleep and don’t see Problematic and his squad reminded him of jet lag and made sure he stayed awake for the journey.
The plan touches down with Badger carrying his AEW belt who in all the haste of packing brought that instead of his WWE title. Ooops! as he makes his awkward entrance.
Bazer is there and the first to greet him with haggis, Biva baked a cake for him. Bildey is there with Scottish bunting, balloons and bagpipes. Baito also brought bagpipes and they played a duet of “Flower of Scooootland hoping to send the bad guys hooooome tae think agaaain!
BTR and Buture…slept in. Surprise Surprise!
Psycho666Badger was playing through Final Fantasy VII Rebirth for the seventh time and lost track of time. We may or may not visit him later!!
Mrs Z Badger said brief hellos and went to her temporary bartender job at the airport bar where BWE already was hitting the El Patron.
They kinda also squint at each other:
Z: “I think you’ve had enough!”
BWE: “An…..UNLIKELY STORY!!!!”
*Narrator’s note: Saying unlikely to avoid any lawsuit of gimmick infringement*
Z: “See if I wasn’t behind this bar…I could outdrink you!”
BWE: “An…..UNLIKELY STORY!!!!”
*They squint at each other potentially foreshadowing a showdown laaaater. Maaaybe!*
Finallyyyy…unbeknownst to everyooone! BlindBadja is also travelling to this event by submarine!
Now why he chose submarine instead of a plane…who knows? Is he annoyed at all his jokes or is he looking out for our young protagonist? Who knows really??
----------------------------------------------------
BlindBadja decided why is he bothering to travel thousands and thousands miles in a sub when others are in a game..so he went home.
Howeverrrrrr
What we failed to mention is that 3cubbies, Badger’s couusin upset that he wasn’t invited. Sooo annoyed that before all this happened, he wrote Badger a passionate letter explaining being left out.
Unfortunately Badger had already left before the letter had arrived at his house. 3cubbies had travel coupons to get a discount on his own flight over there.
While flying he was deciding whether to hurt or help his cousin as he decided to sleep on it during the long flight over there.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
The Time Machine of Guam was acting as Voidbadger and Bazer were making changes. They were quite concerned.
Mrs Z Badger knocked off shift for the night at the airport bar. She and BWE decided to have a lock-in and a tequila-off on the El Patron. Last person standing wins! Who will survive?
Badger was enjoying his flight unaware still blissfully unaware of his enemies sitting at the back while he was sitting at the front when all of a sudden there was an announcement over the PA:
“Ladies and gentlemen we are experiencing major turbulents due to a low fuel supply!” We will try to make an emergency landing but we might diiiie!”
Panic was happening among the plane. Emergency crews were radioed to see if they could join in and help just in case the worst happened. They may not get there until…Tuesday!
The stewardesses all fainted but brave Badgingale decided to stand up and demonstrate the emergency procedures anyway pointing out where the nearest exits are and how to wear the oxygen masks as they come popping down.
Problematic Honey K Badger was not concerned however. In fact one might say he had something to do with this as he let out a Sideshow Bob laugh!
Meanwhile 3Cubbies was on a different flight of course which was running just fine and smoothly. He decided to watch the in-flight movie and write some more letters to send later. Almost like AIRMAIL if you will!
Travelling back in time again to Sunday 30th 2024
Bazer and Voidbadger were staring at the Time Machine of Guam after pressing the FUTURE button as it started acting up. Voidbadger was trying to fix it when a beam of light enshrouded Bazer and he vanished. Voidbadger was staring aghast when right after that, the machine exploded killing Voidbadger in the process!
Voidbadger has died in the explosion – He was going to be ???
Travelling forward in time again to Saturday 12th April 2025
The turbulents were getting worse, the plane was descending at an alarming rate by thousands of feet. Problematic, Baws, Sober BWE, GrumpyBistoBadger95 and Rachel had grabbed what they all the parachutes as their plan of tampering with the engines and fuel supply to take out her hero had worked and jumped out the plane.
Badger had to think quickly! Looking in his suitcase, he found his gigantic kilt and made a makeshift parachute as he was NOT missing this trip and jumped out too. Unfortunately he did not have time to save Dr Breyski and Badgingale as this trip was too important so had to leave them behind.
On the descent down, he saw his enemies descending down with the wind currents forcing Grumpy into his path. He had then taken out his trusty sgian dhu and thrust it into Grumpy's parachute on the way down. Grumpy screamed as he fell into the Atlantic Ocean and drowned!
GrumpyBistoBadger95 has drowned – He was going to be ???
The other evil badgers were shocked and tried to burst his kilt parachute too. However it was made of super strong tartan made from a combination of the Campbell and McDonald clans and couldn't burst it as he then descended past them thanks to the wind currents. Baws who was really MAD then shouted:
“WE'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME GADGET! NEEEXT TIME!!!
Badger: “It's BADGER YA NUMPTY!”
Anyway they all descended into the airport and at various times headed to the main airport bar. (which just happens in a separate building from the main terminal btw). The plane itself then crash-landed into the terminal!!
This killed several people upon impact. Badgingale, Dr Breyski, Bildey and Biva were unfortunately amongst the dead.
Badgingale has died – She was going to be ???
Dr Breyski has died – He was going to be ???
Bildey has died – He was going to be ???
Biva has died – He was going to be ???
BTR and Buture were roused briefly from their phones buzzing with panicked calls from Biva and Bildey just before the plane had crash-landed. Unfortunately they did not see properly who was calling and so turned their phones off and decided to just go back to sleep...forever as they love sleep!
BTR decided to go to sleep forever – He was going to be ???
Buture decided to go to sleep forever – He was going to be ???
Bazer had just appeared from a flash of light with his gifts for Badger and saw all the carnage before him. He decided he needed a drink and decided to go to the airport bar as well.
Sober BWE got to the bar first where BWE was already on the tequilas and asked Mrs Z Badger who was tending bar for cups of tea for him and BWE. The latter was so furious and smashed an empty (so as not to waste good alcohol of course) already drunken bottle of El Patron off the bar end and stabbed the broken end he was holding into the sober one's throat with blood going everywhere killing him instantly.
Mrs Z Badger was furious....she was going to have to clean that up later she told BWE!
Sober BWE was stabbed in the throat – He was going to be ???
Baito then came in and demanded a whisky. BWE got up and stared at him....and they hugged it out much to Mrs Z Badger's delight!
Badger was outside the bar as before he crash he bought duty-free cigarettes after his traumatic experience but forgot to buy a lighter. D'oh! Luckily Bazer appeared and he had a Saltire Clipper lighter as part of his gifts and gave it to Badger who smoked while Bazer entered the bar. Just before he went in, he tried to call Badger1983 what happened but he was still pissed at our hero that Leo was his favourite turtle and had left his phone off wanting no part of this shit.
Badger1983 left his phone off – He was going to be ???
Anyway Badger then entered the bar to a giant “NOOOORMM!”...I mean “BADGER!” chant including a hug and a kiss from his wife as she had forgiven him and Baito for the condoms joke. BWE in a fourth wall breaking moment just says “Oh no..not Cheers again! That game Knee ran on Rajah was bad enough!”
Then the bad guys entered..unfortunately they were horrendously outnumbered. Problematic and Baws managed to escape but unfortunately Rachel tripped on the way out! Mrs Z Badger took out her trusty hockey stick and smashed Rachel over the skull killing her instantly! She also realised the irony that she was going to have to clean up her own mess when BWE pointed this out to her.
Rachel Badger has been killed – She was going to be ???
3Cubbies of course was on another flight so he was not around for any of this shit happening.
So that's where our story is just now....oh we forgot about Psycho666Badger didn't we? Well he was still at home playing Rebirth so we'll get to him later!
RULES
Pretty much bog standard Mafia rules but here's the list anyway:
- Day phases last 48 hours. Night Phases last 24 hours.
- Night phases last exactly 24 hours from when I end the day phase so it will be timestamped. All night actions must be submitted within this time-frame.
- Majority yeet/lynch only so hammer must be reached for an elimination.
- Sleep/No Lynch is a valid vote.
- No roleclaiming/breadcrumbing of roles or I modkill you.
- No editing of posts. Anything you want to add to the original post then then please say EBWOP (Edit by Way of post) in a separate post.
- Use the FOS Vote tags (tick mark icon) otherwise your vote will not count. You don't have to use the Unvote (cross mark icon) if you don't want to but I also don't mind if you do choose to unvote that way.
- No talking of this game please outside of this thread or your Discord channels/chats.
